Crazy celebrity parties, late night hot-tubbing, and the best snow in America. If even Turtle and Drama can have a threesome at the Sundance Film Festival, it has to be pretty fun, right?
First stop: stock up on snow gear. Like all real New Yorkers I don’t make a habit of spending a ton of time out in the snow, but like all real New Yorkers, I know where to get stuff when I need it. Thank you, Bloomingdales sales rack (100% cashmere sweaters at 75% off?!), no thank you, REI (100% shit show).
6am flight. Why does my assistant hate me?? At least it was a short flight, and had a sick view of the snowcapped mountains from 30,000 ft – perfect to get me drooling for some slope time.
Arrived in Salt Lake City in time to catch Kevin Smith and Octavia Spencer (misidentified at the time as Viola Davis. Whoops) signing autographs at baggage claim. Made a mental note to never become famous enough to have to endure fan boys and sketchy looking dudes who stopped qualifying as fan boys at least 2 decades ago (and probably haven’t showered in that long). 45 minutes in our private van from M&L Shuttle and we were in Park City.
Park City is exactly as you would imagine an old mining town to look like: one main street, circled by huge, snow covered mountains. As we entered town, I could see the runs at Park City Mountain Resort, and they were…empty? No wonder everyone says this is the best time to ski Park City.
Turns out everyone is at a gifting suite, lounge, or party, which all start as early as 8am during Sundance. Everyone has a “pop-up” during Sundance, and everyone is trying to get a snap of a celeb (or a pseudo celeb, as they most likely are) with their brand. That means if you know the right people, there’s tons of free booze, food and gifts. These parties were exactly as I imagine everything in LA – sponsored bars, sponsored photo booths, sponsored knick knacks and people trying to pitch their script to anyone who will listen, blah, blah, blah.
Two standouts were the YouTube party, and the ihatecomix Fuckkkyouuu Short Film Release Party. YouTube hosted the talent from some of their most popular channels, so aside from the trays of amazing butterscotch desserts passed around the party, it was a refreshing change to talk to people not trying to pitch something.
The Fuckkkyouuu party had a line at least three blocks long. Good thing only peasants wait in line. The party was dj’d by Flying Lotus and Neon Indian, who finally actually got people dancing. Too bad it was in a giant plastic tent that had a great view, but no heat.
Despite all warnings, I found myself drunk and surrounded by a ton of underage townies at Main Street Pizza & Noodle at 3am. It was like the high school cafeteria all over again, pizza and noodles included. Evidently this is an unavoidable part of every first Sundance experience. The calzone was pretty good, though.
With most of the housing in Park City tied up with party-goers and hanger-ons, the mountains are as desolate as they can be in the middle of ski season. As a surfer I wanted to give snowboarding a try, but was repeatedly told it is faster and easier to learn how to ski. Since I was only there for a weekend, I signed up for an hour private lesson at Park City Mountain, and spent the rest of the afternoon practicing on the bunny hill. I built up enough confidence to try a blue run and ended up tumbling down the hill. I knew I was done when a kid no higher than my knee skied by yelling “are you okayyyyy??????”
Of course, I couldn’t go to a film festival without trying to see a film. Tickets for most films the first weekend of the festival are in super high demand and sell out literally seconds after they go on public sale. Most people I talked to didn’t even bother to try to see anything. I was lucky enough to catch two films I found pretty interesting. The first was The Lovers and the Despot, about a famous South Korean director and his movie star ex-wife who were kidnapped by Kim Jong-Il and forced to make North Korean propaganda films. It was such a fascinating story, and I highly recommend it if you can find it in release.
As a student of marketing I was really looking forward to Nuts!, about J. R. Brinkley, a medical practitioner and radio pioneer. I read his biography by Dan Kennedy on the flight to Sundance, and I recommend both, not just because he was such an interesting character, but for his revolutionary marketing practices. The film should be released by Amazon soon.
We finished off our trip at J&G Grill at the St. Regis in Deer Valley. The St. Regis is a ski-in, ski-out property, and has this badass funicular that takes you from the parking lot to the main hotel. Try to catch it without a crowd, as the funicular provides the best view of the ski runs and Park City. The burger and the 7452 Mary (a bloody mary with wasabi foam and volcanic rock salt) were by far the best I’ve ever had.
Forget Sundance with it’s annoying crowds and parties – I just want to go back to Park City to stay at the St. Regis and ski.
